Airport Insecurity

Last week I was fortunate enough to travel across the state for work. I left MCI Thursday afternoon for STL. Through what I thought was careful planning I thought I would have no problem sliding through security, little did I know I was packing a 'deadly weapon'. After a confusing search for economy parking and a bag check mess I finally made it to the security terminal. As luck would have it I got singled out for 'further inspection' and was brought over to the time warp table. The security 'official' went through my stuff VERY meticulously because I apparently tripped their keen nose for bad things with my 'deadly weapon'. After about 10 minutes of waiting the lady finally came back to me and said that I can't take my cigarette case on the plane because it has a lighter attached and is considered a 'deadly weapon' - even though it was completely inoperable. She told me that I could leave the gate area and mail it back to myself, but by that time the plane was leaving in 10 minutes and I sure as heck wasn't going to miss the flight. Goodbye vintage Ronson Mastercase (deadly weapon).

I left STL for MCI Friday evening after working all day. I got a ride to the airport (stopping at White Castle, of course), checked my bag, and waited in the most ridiculous security line - one security checkpoint for an ENTIRE terminal. Only when I'd already waited 30 minutes in line and finally gotten to the metal detectors did I realize that I'd left my Leatherman on my belt. I stood there for a minute mumbling curse words to myself before I decided to try to sneak it in. I took the Leatherman out of it's case and put it in a pocket in the laptop bag, took the laptop out and set it on top of the bag, put all my other stuff in the tub and sent it through. When I'd gotten through I kinda sat there for a minute waiting for sirens to go off and some big guy to grab my arm and escort me away. What really happened? Not a damn thing. It took me a minute to realize that I had actually snuck a Leatherman through security and was about to take it on the plane with me. I quickly picked up my stuff and made the flight back to MCI.

I was thankful that I wouldn't have to spend $80+ for a new Leatherman, but was still upset that they took my other 'deadly weapon'. The most silly part was that the cigarette case was completely harmless, but I could've taken over the plane with that Leatherman. I should've done it anyway just so I could chalk it up on the long list of things you can do with only a Leatherman.

ESPN 8 - The 'Ocho'

From the 'Is this news?' department.

A thirteen year old girl from Pennsylvania was recently crowned the US Text Messaging Champion after winning the final competetion last Saturday. So, apparently you really can make money doing anything. The grand prize was $25,000, but apparently the winner made a $15,000 typo in the lyrics to the song "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" in the final round.Check out the story on Yahoo.

In other news worthy of national broadcast, a man from New Hampshire has recently won his states' title in the national Rock, Paper, Scissors League - or whatever. That has qualified him to move on to the national tournament held in (where else) Las Vegas, NV and televised on ESPN. The grand prize at that national event is $50,000. Apparently I'm involved in the wrong sports. Click here for the Yahoo article

A - B = Disgruntled Taxpayer

When A = the amount of my federal tax return and B = the sales tax on my car, and A-B = less than zero, a disgruntled taxpayer must be the result.

The sales tax on my car was $80 more than I received back from the fed this year. This makes me upset for two reasons. Firstly the sales tax for automobile purchases is calculated differently than sales tax for everything else. Usually it ends up being a lower rate than the rate you would pay on non food or clothing retail items. The retail tax rate in Gladstone (last time I checked) was 7.25%. The rate I ended up paying for my automobile purchase was about 7.5%. I was completely surprised by the number the lady read to me because it was half again as much as I was expecting to pay, which is the other reason I was upset.

I went to the DMV website to try to find out what my tax rate would be. After an easy search I calculated a rate around 5.5% that would be applicable to me. Apparently that information was not reliable because both of the rates it listed were well below the 'real' rates. The part that frosts me the most is that there is no real recourse for getting gouged at every turn. All I can do is roll over and hope Uncle Same uses some lube.

A New Chapter of Shenanigans

Let me be the first to publicly congratulate my friends Donny and Heather. A young one is on the way.

I must say that I was quite surprised to hear the news. I didn't expect the second generation of the (crooked road) posse to come along so suddenly. I knew that one day we would all likely have children, but it didn't really sink in to me that it could happen any day until Donny called me last week with the news. Of the guys I grew up with on that street - Jason, Sean, Dan and Donny - Donny will be the first one to pass on the 'seed'. It's weird because Donny was the youngest of the group, but now his kid will be the oldest of the second generation group.

Although most of us have left Crooked Road behind, we still keep the tradition alive by meeting once a week to reminisce about previous and promote future shenanigans.

Caliber + 1000 Miles

Or 'How I Love My CVT'.

So I've driven my Caliber 1000 miles. Overall I'm satisfied with the experience. What I really appreciate most about it is the peace of mind it gives me knowing that it is under warranty. I was constantly worried about the skylark blowing a head gasket, throwing a rod or losing the torque converter. Caliber is tight, strong like bull.

The feature of the car that I am most impressed with is the transmission. As I have mentioned before, it’s not a standard manual or automatic, it’s a completely different animal. The CVT allows ‘fire and forget’ capability for cruise control. What I mean is that you can set the cruise for a certain speed and the transmission will find the best fuel/RPM/torque for any driving condition. You may be confused and say ‘My car does that.’ Cars with conventional transmissions will maintain speed by regulating fuel, but the only changes in RPM or torque come from shifting gears. This causes periods of inefficiency as driving conditions change. I used to have to change in and out of overdrive on the skylark while I was driving down the highway – trying to maintain a higher level of efficiency. Now all I have to do is poke the button and forget about it. No lugging on hills or explosive downshifts on steep grades.

One downside I've found with Caliber is that you have to lay the back seat down to accomodate a set of golf clubs.

Audacity

When one looks up the definition of audacity they must come across a photo of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. No other leader in the history of the modern world, with the exception of Hitler and Stalin, has shown so much contempt and hatred for the Western world, been so blatantly defiant for no good reason, and has had so much support from the anti-American elements within Western countries. Everybody in the world knows that Ahmadinejad's Iran is giving material, financial and personnel support to Al Qaeda in Iraq. Everybody in the world knows that Ahmadinejad's Iran is enriching Uranium for the purpose of building a fission weapon. Everybody in the world also knows that there is a national event in Iran every Friday evening where people get out in the street to chant 'death to America' while burning American flags and effigies of GWB. This is also the guy who has been quoted as saying that Israel should be 'wiped off the map' and describing the Holocaust as a 'myth'.

I'm sure that most of you are familiar with the recent kidnapping of British troops by the Iranian navy. Is anybody surprised by the fact that fifteen British Sailors and Marines were held captive by the fascist country for 13 days and forced to give 'confessions' of 'guilt' over Iranian television? Has it become an procedural instrument of Iran to use 'hostage diplomacy'? Is terrorism a state policy of Iran?

This is one of the most serious humiliations of the British Navy and Marines in the modern era. It represents a slap in the face to Tony Blair and George Bush by Ahmadinejad. The very worst part of it is that Ahmadinejad will get away with kidnapping, weapons enrichment and terrorism. He will also get what he secretly bargained for in backroom talks for the release of the hostages. It has been the unofficial policy of the Western countries to bargain with Iran in order to free hostages or POW's from detention/humiliation/torture. What are we going to do in a few months when he builds a bomb? What are we going to do in a few years when he's building bombs and selling them to Al Qaeda? When will it finally be time to act?

I'm scared to death that it will take a devastating event with a horrific loss of life to open Western eyes to the immediate threat posed by Ahmadinejad's Iran. It's a good thing for Ahmadinejad that Ross Perot isn't President.